you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
