By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
