I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
