You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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