You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize