I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize