Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Everything about him screamed your future.
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just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
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You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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