what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
