physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize