So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
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Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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