so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
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