is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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