Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She bit a glass in half.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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