You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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