If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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