The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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