Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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