I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
