They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
