Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
So many bounce houses so little time
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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