Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
do herpes really smell.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
