Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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