like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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