whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
