I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
