Did you just see the Batmobile???
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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