i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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