Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
