Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
