i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
