Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
