He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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