hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
