Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Well I just put wine in my tea
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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