i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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