I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
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