Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
