10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize