Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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