Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize