I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize