He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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