Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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