i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize