Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
