i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
