will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
