I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize