I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
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porn star boner night. come get it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
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They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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