Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
