I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
