I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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