I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
