Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
