just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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