Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
