I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize