I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize