One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
