I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
