sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
