I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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